Don't worry if you were a little hungover on New Year's Day. Comedian Bobby Lee has a story to share that puts most embarrassing substance-abusing anecdotes to shame. Plus, Marc rings in the New Year with advice from German spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle. This goes about as well as you would guess. This episode is sponsored by Men of a Certain Age on TNT.
He's right about your laugh-- like a warm blanket. I liked that Bobby Lee could talk to you like it was only you and he that would ever hear it. It felt like I was eavesdropping. He tells one hell of a story and it's good to know he fought the fight of addiction and kicked its ass.
Keep putting it out there and we'll keep listening and telling others to as well.
i LOVE this episode! well, i love all your podcasts and have been listening since the beginning but this one inparticular was so great. maybe it was the day i had when i listened or maybe it was just because you are getting better and better with each podcast, but this is one of my top 5's. :) so glad to you have you in my ears.
I live in a tiny old ghost town with thirty other folks who surely felt they did not ‘need’ anyone, or any relationships, in order to be happy - as it is very unlikely that any of us were going to meet anyone, way out here in the desert, in a dead mining ghost town, to begin a new relationship with. When we get together for a meal, or a water board discussion, it is very obvious that us 'single' folk revel in companionship, and although we are a cranky old bunch, (mostly older males of the ex-blue collar, and once married variety) we put aside our feuds and cheer right up - our returning visitors will attest to this.
We are all suffering from past failed relationships, and we all spend way too much time alone -- and though some of us fight against the tide - there is a certain 'hopelessness' that is going on. This is an unspoken thing. It is sometimes lightheartedly acknowledged, but as with America’s failed economy - no one has 'the answers' we seek.
Now to the point. I am certain that our system of capital-ism, and neo-liberal-ism, together with our failed media industrial WAR machine, is the culprit. It throws away its older workers, and it inculcates us all with false ideas of 'retirement' and ‘individuality’ as some form of ‘reward’, which leaves many of us all alone, staring at monitors, T.V.'s, and gadgets. And above all, it has created a nation of uncooperative and difficult individuals -who have dreamy, idealistic, yet entirely unworkable concepts of community and friendship.
As you noted, people are friendly, but fail to 'be' each others friends, in a full-filling and deep way- leaving each other at risk of leading very lonely lives.
I suppose that is why I find my 'alone' time to be so important - yes - it is easier to be alone in the wilderness, rather than in a crowd. Hence, that is, as you point out, how I react to the reality of loneliness. To study ‘being - alone’ has been my reaction. Yes, it hurts to be left out, and to watch others -suffering alone.
The only answer I know, is to engage each person,
who will allow me to do so, with as much energy as I can muster. Engagement . . . that is my hope!
That, as I see it, is the great success of WTF, and Marc's approach to comedy, also.
"Some people will be friendly but, they'll never be your friend. Sometimes this has bent me to the ground." Another quote I took from Rich (his life just made a lot of sense to me) Its the being lonely not, being alone. Being alone can be nice because you avoid being reminded of your loneliness.
On a personal issue dealing with note, I just ordered the book, "How to be an Adult" from Amazon. Wish me luck! haha I still dont know how to be one.
Compassion.
I also have found that 'friendship' is not going to end a feeling of 'loneliness'; especially if said loneliness is pervasive and depressing in the first place. I would guess that the deep loneliness Rich Mullins references, is part of a larger issue of 'the fear of being alone'.
Once, not all that long back, it was a rite of passage, for most human to experience being all alone - because in the end, and before we are born, that is our permanent state. And it is truly our greatest fear. A week of backpacking across the wild plain, a time on the open seas in a raft - delivering a message to the other tribe - going out into the wild to collect food - these were once required by the tribe as a rite of passage. Learning to love one's self is easier if it is part of one's training as a member of a small group. We have lost that now, in our new 'global' village.
Our culture now requires an inculcation of a certain amount of fear of self ...and also a 'fear of the other'. These fears will keep the individual from standing up against the 'group' authority, as when it lies us into war...and allows our 'leaders' in media and politics to manufacture consent via group think/fear.
We all need to learn to be alone for short times, without being 'lonely'...I recommend a trip into a national park wild place for a few days every year, as an exercise in taking 'care' of the 'lonely self' we all have...and yes, we do need to indulge our lonely selves a little.
I also recommend, to all my neighbors and fellow humans, a little trip to WTF dot com; as a way to learn about self deprecation via conversation - humor as a method of growth - and being open to new ideas. Oh, and laughter too!
Bravo Marc!
A Rich Mullins quote has helped me to understand a lot of what I do in different relationships and to become aware of it. Its long but, hopefully not too long.
"Even when I was engaged, even then -I had a ten-year relationship with this girl- and I would often wonder why, even in those most intimate moments of our relationship, I would still feel really lonely. And it was just a few years ago that I finally realized that friendship is not a remedy for loneliness. Loneliness is a part of our experience and if we are looking for relief from loneliness in friendship, we are only going to frustrate the friendship. Friendship, camaraderie, intimacy, all those things and loneliness live together in the same experience."
Hope that might help someone. I did me.
Just a small complaint, otherwise fantastic interview.
Great episode Marc, Thanks. I'm now looking forward to seeing what Bobby gets up to in Simon Pegg's 'Paul'.
POW! its a new year and i just shit my pants!!
Love the show!
keep doing what youre doing marc. love you and the show!
I had never heard of Bobby Lee. That is not unusual for me, as I am living completely outside of the 'American Cultural Experience'. I do not own a Television. I do not go to clubs, movies, concerts . . . not even restaurants. I live hundreds of miles from any 'city', in a ghost town in the desert. We have only a post office...no gas stations, no stores, no churches. When we need to go to market, we buy things online, or pool our resources and share the travel costs. I guess that qualifies us as not 'part of the culture', to a certain, small, extent.
And maybe that helps explain how astounded I was after reading the first three comments.
I download these podcasts, because I love what they are... and not because I expect the most 'famous' or the 'funniest' or 'most popular' comedians to be on these podcasts. It is how open these 'comedians' are with Marc, and how wise Marc is becoming through doing this work tht makes me keep coming back to WTF!
Yes, I just read these silly snide judgments about Marc's guest...and so I guess I want to say this:
That the market culture is corrupting the minds of the nitpickers - sometimes- and that I hope that the 'rising up, above the negativity' continues to happen!
No wonder so many folks who try to 'succeed' are finding it difficult to get past all the drugs, all the issues with relationships, and all the mean spirited comments (above) and behaviors - (like the Fox producer that Bobby Lee encountered).
To those who keep on plugging forward, and taking chances, like Bobby Lee, and you Marc, (Brendan too), I salute you, and your hard earned work!